whiplash

A Mother's Woman's job is tough. Really tough. I grew up with dreams of being a mother. In my mind's eye there could be nothing better. Along with dreams of being a mother, I had dreams of staying at home with my child full-time. I was never one who desired to pursue a career, working 9-5, bringing home the "bacon." I knew, from the start, that God desired for me to have children and raise them in His ways. What I didn't know was how hard the job was. I didn't receive a degree in "Motherhood." I didn't even take a course in "Motherhood." I didn't realize that every day I would question my ability. I didn't realize the astounding responsibility that comes with the title of "Mother."

Becoming a stay at home mother is the realization of my hopes and dreams. My husband works hard every day to provide for our family so that I can have the luxury of raising our daughter. I have prayed since the day I thought about having children that the Lord would bless me by allowing me to raise my (His) children. So, why then, do I have days that seem so difficult? Days that I question this "career." (And yes, it is a career). [ see this article if you don't believe me] There are days that I feel so isolated and alone, even though the joy of my life is with me 24/7. I miss the confidantes I made at work, the friendships, the laughter. I miss getting dressed, doing my hair, feeling like a professional. I miss the independence. My life has been turned upside-down these past eight months. And despite all these whiplash changes, or perhaps because of them, I do desperately miss certain aspects of the "old me". I feel like I have nothing to share, as my world has at once become quite big and very small. Although I miss certain things, I wouldn't change my life if I could.

I bring this up because I was reminded today of a debate I once saw on Oprah. Working mothers vs. Stay at-home moms. First of all, why are we wasting our breath debating one another, when the choice is a difficult and personal one for each family. I cannot imagine having to leave my child at a day care center each day. I cannot imagine missing the simple moments with Anna, the smiles and giggles. The silly faces and even the tears. It would pain me daily to not be with her. However, I do have moments that I could use some "adult time." So, I believe the debate will always continue. Working moms will always envy full-time mothers because they are saddened by the time they miss with their children. Stay at home mothers will always envy Working Moms for the adult time, friendship and independence they attain. The fact is "the grass is always greener," but that doesn't mean your lawn isn't perfect for you and your family.

I hope I did not sound negative in this blog, as that was not my intention. I simply wanted to applaud all women who choose a path that they believe is best for their family. Whether it be to continue in their career, or to put their career on hold to raise their families...each choice is difficult, and demands sacrifice which is not always easy. For me, raising Anna is the most rewarding career that I could have chosen. Although there are days that I want to quit, or at least have a lunch break :), I know that I am blessed beyond measure to be given the gift of raising my child. For those women who work (outside the home), i simply do not know how you do it. You are honored, and I wish I could give each one of you a good nap!